We Only See Each Other At Weddings And Funerals

Nine years after parting ways, the estranged members of the Umbrella Academy have gathered for the funeral of their guardian and mentor. But their reunion is far from pleasant, as old wounds reopen, murderous mimes embark on a crime spree, and one of the siblings is seduced away by a mysterious villain . . .

Issue 2 starts the day after Issue 1. Spaceboy is told The Rumor is at the mansion and they greet each other at The Horror’s statue. It is revealed he is dead but the cause is unknown, at which point Seance arrives. At a carnival in the city robots cause destruction because of the apparent reformation of The Umbrella Academy. The Future then describes what happened when he left and how he returned. The Kraken turns up and has a small confrontation with Spaceboy. The funeral attracts media attention.

The Monocle’s wife arrives at the funeral, and says a few words about the Monocle before her cloak is ripped off by The Kraken. She is revealed to be a talking mannequin of sorts, possibly a creation of Hargreeves’ to serve as a mother figure to the children. The Kraken then argues with Spaceboy.

Meanwhile, in response to the phone call she received last issue, Vanya (00.07) arrives at the Icarus Theatre where she is told to play her violin by a figure obscured by a blinding light. When the light goes off she is in front of many spectators and a skeleton in a suit who calls himself ‘The Conductor’ of ‘The Orchestra Verdammten’. He claims that his new composition, ‘The Apocalypse Suite’, could destroy the world if played accurately. After hearing the plan, Vanya leaves but The Conductor anticipates her return.

At the mansion Spaceboy and The Kraken have a violent conflict. Spaceboy has his laser up to The Kraken but they are broken up by the Rumor and 00.05 when he reveals that the world ended a mere three days after Hargreeve’s death. After a moment, the group of heroes realize that the carnival is on fire – Spaceboy reveals that the culprits are the Terminauts, created by the malicious Dr. Terminal (a villain from their past) that were to activate if the Umbrella Academy were ever to reform. The Kraken jumps into the water, and Spaceboy orders everyone to the Televator.

The Umbrella Academy has been reformed. The issue ends with a quote from the Monocle at his acceptance speech at the National Thallium Awards.

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